While sending regrets for a school party I couldn't fit into my weekend recently, I was struck by how much I really did regret that I couldn't make it to the party. There are two kinds of regret in life -- regret about things we haven't done and regret about things we have done. When asked what is the biggest regret of their life, three fourths of my workshop attendees describe something that they did not do in their life.

When considering flexible work schedules with my clients, it is often that case that they are seeking to make time to do something they will regret not having done at the end of their career or life. Women often complain of not having enough time - and we know this is a true stressor in modern life when you both work and run a household. When we do our self assessments and list and prioritize our days, it is very likely that something regretted will pop out. It may be something you wished to try when younger and you never got around to it. It may be something that has taken on signifigance in your life through caring for yourself or your family. It may also be a "before I die" sort of longing as you face the second half of your life.

So try this exercise : if you could have anything you want and noone would crticize or sabotage your dream -- what would it be? There would be no downside. Cost wasn't the issue. Time isn't the issue. I know. The "buts" stream on endlessly because the real question is WHAT DO YOU WANT? When you really know that, the way generally cooperates and opens up. If it is something you have always wanted to do, your task is taking the steps to begin to do it. Remember how sorry you will feel if you never do it. If you are not entirely sure of what you would regret passing up, consider similar things and select from them. Believe that you are in control and that things can change. For years, I did what I was good at but never questioned whether it was what I wanted to do. In taking control of my career - after losing control, which is another story - I have found a far richer tapestry which contains no regrets.