Every couple of weeks I indulge myself and get my hair professionally blow dried. It makes me ridiculously happy to have my wavy hair smoothed and straight. Although I would never leave my cut and colorist (www.brushcrush.com), I zip into the local SuperCuts to get the quick do. The other women I see there are not indulging as I am. They are often presenting their reluctant children to the stylist for a trim or down to the business of their own cut and color. The men, and there are mostly male clients at my local SuperCuts, are there for a haircut and what I have come to observe as a geisha experience. The stylists are real professionals and have a counter full of razers, trimmers and styling gel for their male clients. But it is the additional service of having a woman run her fingers through his hair and massage his scalp that puts the smiling and satisfied guy in relax mode during his haircut. Witnessing this experience time after time comes close to how great I feel when I exit the chair too. Best of all is that I don't wait 4 weeks to do it all again.

While laying on a heat pack at physical therapy this morning, I found myself listening in on all the many conversations taking place between therapists and their patients. One lady was born in Italy and speaks a family dialect that is almost gone. Two of the guys were commiserating that the Spurs got lucky last night and it just wasn't fair. I picked up two recommendations for book club and learned about a sister who is a flight attendant and cursed with passengers having medical emergencies in flight.

The last time I needed physical therapy was probably 15 years ago. Back then, I screeched in a couple of minutes late for my appointments and watched the clock ticking off all the things remaining to do that day. I doubt that the conversations around me were any less interesting but I never heard them. How we measure time, pass time, make time and run out of time sure fluctuates at times. When there were babies in the house, time was measured in feedings and naps. When I had the big career, time was precisely measured by productivity markers. Last night I noticed that I now measure a week when my pill case runs out and has to be refilled again. Yoga has taught me that time is in the breath. The past and the future are not time. Only the present moment is time. I really understood that this morning as I lay in the moment and received some nice stories while I healed.

I received a journal for Christmas entitled, " Mom's One Line a Day," a five year memory book. Needless to say, the first few weeks the entries filled in the pages themselves. Then there was a one or two day gap and then a week or two. After sitting down today to catch up the entries, I realized that not filling in the missing days wasn't a failure. Revisiting the calendar and recalling those days was, in fact, a gift. For example, while reflecting back to March 7th and my son's trip to the dentist, I was touched by the observations I had about him as he soldiered through a very long visit in the chair which included xrays (gag reflex), a lecture from the dentist to mom about the enamel on molar number 5, cleaning and then a filling. What I realized by looking back to the events of March 7th are that my son is becoming a more mature young man. He didn't show fear or remorse at the dentist's office and I may not have seen that growth in him if I didn't have a few weeks upon which to reflect.

Reflection is not a gift I have much experience with anyway. I live in the moment, frantic moment to moment actually. My gut leads the way pretty persuasively and I don't cotton much to regrets. What I am seeing a glimmer of is that reflection is a lovely window of insight that can be enjoyed any time after something occurs. It doesn't have a goal or a measurement. Reflection is the clear, pure view of something that provides a glimpse into one line a day for me.

I am so looking forward to Meg Wolitzer's new book due out next month. If it is half as familiar to my cohort as Ten Year Nap, it will be a great read. The economy and job market have had such a debilitating effect on so many of my friend's marriages. What may have been a normal settling in of the spouses where they agreed to disagree on topics like sex, communication, grandchildren, has morphed into a worrisome battleground of who spends too much and what maintenance (physical, house, car, spiritual) gets shelved for the time being. For the most part, noone is leaving anyone, but the level of discomfort is growing and painful.

In a Vanity Fair interview earlier this year Meryl Streep talked about the feeling of personal liberation that she is experiencing in her life these days. What she said resonated so much for me that I clipped part of the article and have carried it with me ever since. She has raisesd three daughters and I agree with her that as the girls grow up and boys enter the picture, the girls begin to modify their assertiveness. They yearn to be acceptable, even appealing to boys. I have certainly seen and heard this from my two teenage daughters. But what Streep says that I really adore is "an enormous relief to outgrow those constraints." She says, "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing."

For me, I can't remember that last time I checked the mirror after leaving the house in the morning. As Streep reports, " I think you just have to get sick of hearing the accommodations in your approach to things...the way people have to get sick of drinking or drugs before they stop." Pretty strong words to compare personal liberation to recovery from addiction, but it rings true for me. I found a very strong taste for personal liberation in the past few years. I am happy to be exactly who I am, without making it easier for everybody else.

By now, many people who were laid off two years ago have begun to diversify their job search. More intensity and diversity are smart ways to go about the search and the more you perfect these techniques, the better your chances of finding a good job. How do you diversify your search? This is key and will save you time and confusion if you take the time to carefully think about and then strategize your optimal plan for finding a job.

You have listed the skills you can offer potential employers on your resume. You have successfully documented your career thus far too. Now you know what kind of work will be a good fit for your training and skills. Next, and perhaps more important, it is time to conduct a self assessment that includes your interests, your values and a fresh look at how your particular skillset could benefit your next employer. One tried and true place to look for help with self assessment is in Richard Nelson Bolles' book What Color is Your Parachute.

Even in a tough economy, there are always job vacancies. Organizations continually start up, expand or replace workers. These jobs aren't always posted and you need to use the right method to find them. This puts the responsibility for the process of finding a job on you. Since you never know when an opportunity will present itself - be open minded and proactive. This is easier said than done after a long layoff but is a surefire way to uncover opportunities. You know to be persistent, but put this in the context of being proactive and you might see new ways to follow up, turn a "no" around and express a sincere interest to reinforce your desire for a job.

There is certainly an art to following up. Remember that the opportunity in the follow up is for you to be remembered and recognized in a favorable way. You do not want to annoy anyone and can use your better judgement to put yourself in the path of the opportunity. Become the most memorable candidate and be the one who receives the offer.

It's back and all new, almost. After nine months (gestation), the Hours are a new balance of editorializing, counseling and some brass tacks retail thrown in. Stay tuned for my explanation and exploration of balance in the new decade.

In the meantime, enjoy this op-ed piece from today's New York Times www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/opinion/24singloh.html . Sandra Loh manages to get off a nice description of the modern woman's mantra, "What I need is a wife" without regret or acerbic comment. It is what it is and while I usually fantasize about retreating to the mountains with the monks, Loh heads into a "Mad Men" fantasy of her own. At the end of the (long) day we each head back to reality. Success is reserved as reward for those who manage one step at a time through the many land mines of modern marriage.