Do I really want a wife? I think that what I really need is the acknowledgement that I am best suited to do the disproportionate workload for our home and family BECAUSE I CARE. Shira Boss said in a New York Times 8/11/07 article that "even if the workload is divided, women complain that they are usually the ones organizing, juggling and filling their head space with the daily demands of family life." That's a fact at our house.

If you were to ask my husband about all my: (pick one) complaining, organizing, juggling and analyzing over the household, he would shrug his shoulders and mutter that I take on too much. After putting this topic on the weekly meeting agenda a few times over the years, neither one of us has altered our opinion on what constitutes "workoad." I used to be so sure that this was because my husband was either (pick one) too tired or too lazy at the end of the day to carry more of the load. Sure I was left with less energy to devote to workplace tasks. But I always felt strongly about my homeplace commitments too.

The plain truth is that "women are held to higher expectations and hold themselves to higher standards," according to Sumru Erkut, associate director of the Wellesley Centers for Women.
I don't think the solutions lies in women lowering their standards either. I derive huge satisfaction from nurturing our (pick one) meals, laundry, vacation plans, interior design, garden, volunteering. All this, and I love my work too. The solution once again lies in women's ability to identify and implement schedules for their time that is in proportion to their needs and interests. Most of the time this will include a flexible work schedule and that time has come.