The social context of the conflict that is supposed to be modern woman escapes me. Although I have pulled stints during my career of each of the following - good woman, individual achiever, caregiver, die-hard workaholic and quitter - I have never suffered the pain of conflicted feelings about my roles. My friends and clients have sometimes chosen career, sometimes family, sometimes both work and family. The common thread that we set out to "fix" in each person's case is the feeling that their choice makes them feel conflicted.

It turns out that when we are frustrated we rise up against whatever we perceive to be oppressing us. We are fearless in the battle and ultimately make a "difficult choice." I have been fortunate enough to be guided by an inner conviction at each difficult juncture in my career. I seldom considered what was expected of me during the decision making process. I usually believed that I could craft a solution to the problem and trusted that it would work for me. This is not to say that I didn't have to vascillate wildly on some issues. Ultimately, though, I trusted that there was a solution or maybe a revolution to solve my puzzle. Usually it was a revelation breaking through the clouds that arrived very simply by looking at things a different way. One more struggle out of the way. Breathe.