One thing that is in balance in my work/life is the piles of stuff I am working on. Often, I take great pride in having visited the piles and pulled a few things out to complete. Building the piles is an act of mental organization NOT simplification. This is an important distinction because we hear so much in the media about simplifying our lives but decluttering, boxing things up and creating order in our lives strikes me as a paper tiger. When my husband and I bought our first home, it had four bedrooms. Since the dog didn't need his own room, preferring to sleep on our bed, we each took one bedroom as a home office used the third spare as a heave it all junk room. As you can imagine, over the years, one and then a second child came along to claim two of the rooms. The remaining room became a two person office and junk room causing much discomfort for its users.

Along came baby number three. We were both still working and still amassing junk, so naturally things started rolling out into the house. We decided to move. We designed the next home to accommodate two work desks for us in the kitchen and family room and designated the garage as the junk room. The garage now represents a project for two long weekends each year. Life is very much like this -- messy and creative. Unfortunately, many women I meet have absorbed this message that life should be simple or simplified. We have heard the message and when given the opportunity to simplify our stresses of caregiving, household management and careers, we choose to close the door to our jobs. I and many of my peers have done exactly this -- stepped away from our careers after investing years of study and work and thousands of dollars in education. The news from the front is not good. None of us feels that our life is more manageable and most of us feel either the economic pinch, the isolation from our spouse and friends still working, the pressure of tidy rooms and drawers and/or the meaninglessness of completing small tasks over challenging big ones.

Keep the clearly defined roles for baking a cake or writing html, I say. For everything else, we must broaden our view of life. During the 30-50 years that encompass our aspirations for our children, our career, and our partnerships, we should let it be messy, keep it all in piles and let our attention be on balancing all that life has on offer.