Longing for that 'ol 1950's version of housewife instead of the ridiculous schedule you are now keeping with work and kids and housekeeping? In her new book The Feminine Mistake, Leslie Bennetts points to the revival of the idealism young women have for the stay at home domestic diva. Her point is well taken-- rely on this model at your economic peril.

But, importantly, be aware that women's desire (young and old) for a simpler set of obligations is a snapshot of how overwhelming it is to be expert and efficient at both one's career and family obligations at the same time. Where are the men?

Some people would have us believe that men and women are the same. That is certainly the way the work world is constructed. There have been precious few "accommodations" for women since we entered the workforce twenty years ago. I can remember donning a floppy tie and double breasted navy suit for work. I certainly remember the one time I cried in the office -- forget that I wasn't pregnant, PMS-ing or usually "bitchy." I was, in fact, very frustrated at having been passed over again for a promotion that went to a much younger, less experienced and less successful man.

Given that large numbers of women are responsible for the minutiae of all things household, are outearning their spouses, are not taking time off but are sequencing like men in their careers, where are the men? At my house, they take out the garbage and play catch (in the kitchen) with the kids, or flop on the couch to watch a sporting event. As I have mentioned before, we have to ask . We have to ask at work for the freedom to participate as respected professionals and freedom to be mothers and daughters. From our men, we have to ask, for the exact help we need, sometimes repeatedly and definitely for their response with empathy.