My self worth isn't tied up in my achievement. This was my mantra when I first adjusted my professional life to fit in raising a few kids. What I meant at the time was that I wanted to work and to continue to contribute professionally and I believed I was capable of doing so. What I was willing to forego was some prestige, a promotion and my pride. I exhibited a fair amount of desire to control both my work and personal lives. In all my years of going full throttle I had never caught up with all the things I wanted to do. My outlook was realistic. I was just redistributing the pie.

The first dozen years of raising a family found me directing my inner chaos as follows: school board (preschool, of course), Girl Scout cookie chair (three years in a row), professional golf lessons for the seven year old, a university professor to instruct my 11 year old in writing, a home based business (for "pin money") and domestic skill building (folding fitted sheets with the corners tucked into each other), a kitchen remodel ( and a magazine feature to go with it), care for my aging parents ( doctors, dementia and cross country relocation) and lots of spiritual questing (kaballah, meditation, flower essences). Still not close to catching up but with a workaholic's sense of destiny, I became a whole person.

What I have discovered is that I am very invested in my achievement -- both the internal and external. It is who I am as well as what I do that defines my achievement.